League of Women Voters Denver
Non-Binary Toolkit
Created by Work Group Members Fran Coleman, Anne Duncan, Elsie Haley, Andrea Mitchell, Jeanette Scotland, and Harper Strickland
Download a pdf version here: LWVD Non-Binary Tookit
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Introduction: Why this toolkit?
- Definitions
- Pronouns
- How we support non-binary members
- Additional resources
1. Introduction: Why this toolkit?
As the League of Women Voters of Denver, we work with issues supported by the state and national leagues. One of these is the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion policy (DEI). The LWV of Colorado makes the importance of this policy clear: “Diversity, equity, and inclusion are central to the organization’s current and future success in engaging all individuals, households, communities, and policymakers in creating a more perfect democracy.”
One important area of diversity is gender, which is different than sexual orientation. (See definitions and “Gender Unicorn”.) This is an area where language and understanding have evolved over the last few decades, from LGB to LGBTQ+, as awareness of the complexity of gender identity has increased. This toolkit will focus primarily on non-binary gender identity, and will attempt to put it into some context, to provide language for discussing it, and to make suggestions about how we might be a more welcoming and inclusive group. It will also suggest resources for further study.
Resources:
Gender Spectrum, “Understanding Gender” https://genderspectrum.org/articles/understanding-gender
An introduction to the gender spectrum, with an explanation of the differences between sex, sexual orientation and gender, and a look at the complex concept of gender.
“Understanding Non-Binary People: How to Be Respectful and Supportive” (National Center for Transgender Equality)
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-non-binary-people-how-to-berespectful-and-supportive
This short summary is clear and concise, defining some non-binary terminology and giving advice on how to support non-binary people. It’s a good place to start.
2
“10 ways to step up as an ally to non-binary people” https://www.stonewall.org.uk/about-us/news/10-ways-step-ally-non-binarypeople?fbclid=IwAR1GRPBwBEzuW6LLrVfuNx9sokAV9_iquuH3SiJpYeU5wc80wY7m7qJKPPc
This is a basic overview with simple tips for allies.
2. Definitions
In her poem “Spelling”, Margaret Atwood says, “A word after a word is power.” Words matter; language matters. And language is always evolving. So we must evolve too because we need to use accurate words to discuss the topic of gender in all its complexity. We also need to be aware that many of the terms we have used in the past are no longer acceptable, and that current terms will continue to change. The definitions below are some of the basics. The resources listed in this section contain more information and additional definitions. Please note: it is considered best to accept any language a person chooses to describe themself, and never to attribute any labels to that person that they have not explicitly claimed as accurate to describe them.
Let’s start with the current form of an acronym that has changed several times:
LGBTQ+ - An acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning; the + refers to all additional representations of sexual orientations and gender identities, including non-binary. This acronym may also include: 2 (Two-Spirit), I (Intersex), and/or A (Asexual).
Cisgender, adjective - Describes a person whose gender identity aligns with the sex assigned to them at birth. Sometimes shortened to cis.
Gender expression, noun - External appearance on a feminine-masculine spectrum. Usual expressions include behavior (including mannerisms), clothing, haircut, voice. Note gender expression does not need to align with gender identity in order for both to be valid. (For example, a woman doesn’t need to dress and groom “like a woman” in order to be treated with respect for who she is. The same is true for trans and non-binary people.)
Gender-fluid, adjective - Describes a person who doesn’t identify with a single fixed gender or who has or expresses an unfixed gender identity.
Gender identity, noun - Inner concept of self as male, female, a blend of both, or neither. Includes how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves.
Genderqueer, adjective - Describes a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies as neither, both, or a combination of genders.
Non-binary, adjective - Describes a person who understands their gender in a way that goes beyond identifying as a man or a woman. Sometimes used as synonymous to genderqueer. Can be used both as an umbrella term including many gender identities outside the binary, and also a specific gender identity.
Transgender, adjective - Describes a person whose gender identity or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Some transgender people are non-binary and some are not. Some non-binary people consider themselves to be transgender and some do not. Sometimes shortened to trans.
Resources:
Bloomington Pride Glossary of Terms. https://bloomingtonpride.org/glossary
Under Resources on this website, you will find an LGBTQ+ glossary of terms.
“The Gender Unicorn” https://transstudent.org/gender/
A visual depiction of five complex gender characteristics in humans, each of which exists on a continuum: gender identity, gender expression, sex assigned at birth, physical attraction, and emotional attraction.
“Your adult child just came out as nonbinary. Now what?”
https://majorarqueerna.com/your-adult-child-just-came-out-as-nonbinary-nowwhat/?fbclid=IwAR2NtvzTlFke4mwwwnkAGYadPbd8RaOXlawn3LQtU2fihXhQG841J2IngIQ
This is a guide for where to start when an adult loved one comes out as nonbinary, which includes links to other resources. It’s written for parents, but the advice also applies to others.
3. Use of pronouns
Addressing someone by the name they have asked you to use is a mark of respect, and this also applies to third-person pronouns. Because many of us have been taught prescriptive grammar, this is not easy. How can it be “right” to use they for a single person? A linguist will tell you that language is always evolving, and a scholar of the history of the English language will tell you that this is not the first time they has been used as singular. (If you are not convinced, you might want to check the Time article listed in the resources for Jacob Tobin’s answer about the fifth-grade teacher. Tobin also notes that the linguists of the American Dialect
Society recognized the singular they as the word of the year in 2015, and that both Merriam Wester and Oxford dictionaries include the singular they.)
So how do we know what pronoun to use? Sometimes a person will tell you what pronoun to use, which solves the problem; you use the name/pronoun a person asks you to use. If you aren’t sure, you can ask. Tobin suggests you ask everyone and if you can’t ask, use the gender-neutral they until you know otherwise.
In addition to pronoun usage, it’s important to shift to gender-inclusive language in other areas as well. For example, instead of saying, Ladies and gentlemen, substitute Distinguished guests. For men or women, consider everyone, or person for the singular. Instead of guys, use folks. And try to make these changes in greetings: “Hi, folks.” “Good morning, everyone.” Doing this removes assumptions and includes the gender identities of everyone.
This won’t be easy for most of us. The American Psychological Society suggests practice using gender-neutral pronouns until they don’t feel awkward. And be prepared to make mistakes. If you do, acknowledge them, apologize and move on.
Resources:
“Does Traditional Grammar Matter When It Comes to Singular ‘They’ and ‘Themself’?” https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/they-is-a-singular-pronoun
This article addresses the grammar of singular they pronouns.
“How to Use Gender-Neutral Pronouns”
https://lifehacker.com/how-to-use-gender-neutral-pronouns-1821239054
This is a more comprehensive grammar and language article.
“Opinion: Even a Grammar Geezer Like Me Can Get Used to Gender Neutral Pronouns” https://www.npr.org/2019/08/06/744121321/even-a-grammar-geezer-like-me-can-get-used-togender-neutral-
pronouns?utm_medium=social&utm_term=nprnews&utm_campaign=npr&utm_source=faceboo k.com&fbclid=IwAR1NHIRpdyXWFbcG9q5JCd-Wg2i6ddn9lx6v_D6L8MnlJOvGTi-pA6iHhkI
This op-ed addressed the grammar of singular they in historical context.
“Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Gender-Neutral Pronouns” (Time) https://time.com/4327915/gender-neutral-pronouns/
This Time magazine article is informal and answers common questions about pronouns with humor, which is not a bad thing. In it, Jacob Tobin is speaking from their experience and the personal examples are helpful.
4. How we support non-binary members
We can support non-binary members and non-binary persons in our community both as individuals and as the League of Women Voters Denver. Remember that this is not an issue of grammar; it’s about a person’s identity. Here are some possibilities:
Changes You Will See to LWVD Documents
As a result of the work done by the non-binary work group, and in consultation with members of the Denver League, a number of changes have been made so that LWV Denver is more welcoming and inclusive.
- The website description of the League’s membership has been made gender neutral: “Our enduring vitality and resonance come from our membership, which is open to all people 16 years of age and older.”
- Our members now have the choice of gender options when updating their profiles: male, female, non-binary/other.
- Members are also encouraged to share their personal pronouns as part of their profile: She/Her/Hers; He/Him/His; They/Them/Theirs; and Other (describe).
5. Other Resources:
“4 Ways to Make Your Workplace Equitable for Trans People” https://www.npr.org/2020/06/02/867780063/4-ways-to-make-your-workplace-equitable-for-transpeople?utm_medium=social&utm_term=nprnews&utm_campaign=npr&utm_source=facebook.c om&fbclid=IwAR1V5L3B3kIB7W3tuW84V2ta50fiABs90qrqRvRElHst3gZ_qZrH2FHALfM
This is a basic guide for supporting equity in professional environments.
“Transgender, Gender-Fluid, Nonbinary, and Gender-Nonconforming Employees Deserve
Better Policies” https://hbr.org/2020/11/transgender-gender-fluid-nonbinary-and-gender-nonconformingemployees-deserve-better-policies?fbclid=IwAR1obXkIyZSzwNHnj7wE4COKhQHt7MQ7TtdIYcU8xb5yjqOxv0ifQMrbyw
This article from Harvard Business Review discusses workplace policies and professional environments.
University of Maryland Equity Center Website
https://lgbt.umd.edu/good-practices-names-and-pronouns
This website provides a great collection of resources from the University of Maryland, including a video about pronouns.
Daniel Bergner, “The Struggles of Rejecting the Gender Binary,” NYT Magazine (June 4, 2019) https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/04/magazine/gender-nonbinary.html
In addition to information about gender identity, this article provides a heartbreaking glimpse into the lives of people who do not fit comfortably into the gender categories our society uses.
“Can a Child Be Raised Free of Gender Stereotypes? This Family Tried.” NPR “Hidden Brain”
(October 22, 2018)
https://www.npr.org/2018/10/18/658449559/can-a-child-be-raised-free-of-gender-stereotypesthis-family-tried
A radio program about a family who attempted to raise their child without gender stereotypes, roles, or expectations.
LWVUS website
https://www.lwv.org/league-management/policies-guidelines/diversity-equity-and-inclusionpolicy
This website has the League Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Policy. “Related Content” includes a section called “Continued Learning” that has a list of articles, books, and audio relating to different aspects of diversity. Much of it focuses on race, but there are some gender resources as well.
Videos:
”Nonbinary comes in every age” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo2FgrTfubw
This video includes interviews with seven nonbinary people, ages 30 to 70.
“Walking Through the World Non-Binary” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKJjwTEfaKc&pbjreload=101
This TEDx talk is a short lecture-style presentation by a non-binary person about their experience.
“What Does Two-Spirit Mean?” https://www.them.us/video/watch/geo-neptune-explains-twospirit
This six-minute video explains the Native American concept of Two-Spirit, a third gender expression that is being reclaimed by tribes after it was lost to the colonial insistence on a binary expression of gender. This is an identity term that is only appropriate for use by people from indigenous cultures.
Note: The League of Women Voters of Denver created this toolkit, and we invite you to share it or portions of it with others as long as you add to the text: “This material was gathered and published by a study group from the League of Women Voters of Denver.”